April 18, 2017

Beach Culture in Tenerife

I’ve been chilling on Tenerife’s beaches for the past days. A hot Sahara wind made it impossible to move much further than from my beach towel to the sea and back. A cultural critic is of course never really on vacation, even when it’s on the beach. Here a few of my observations about beach culture in Tenerife: 

- To go to the beach you need a bikini with frays. 

- It’s cool to have your kid’s face tattooed on your belly. Or at least show off one tattoo somewhere around your lower part.

- It’s okay to show tits on the beach but the pussy has to be hidden from view. So keep your bikini bottoms on but try to minimise the surface it covers. 

- It’s easier to think about being positive while chilling on the beach. My neighbor was reading Ser Positivo and looked quite happy doing so. 

- I remember the blue cool boxes from when I was little in Belgium. Very comforting to see they are still in business. Tenerifian people use them to bring their paella to the beach. 

- There’s a thing like semi-G-Strings in Tenerife, so my friend pointed out to me. It consists of putting your bikini bottom in your bum crack. 

- It’s good to have your flip-flops on when you walk that short stretch from your beach towel to the sea over a 33 degrees heated black sanded beach. 

- Music bands come to play in Tenerife as an end of career when they no longer get invited somewhere else. Like Aerosmith playing on July 8. This I found out on my way to the beach.


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